yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
