you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
