You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
