All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
