I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize