Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
True strength comes from lack of pants
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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