how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
