Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
