didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
