this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
