love makes seman taste better
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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