She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
