Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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