I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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