the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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