I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
