Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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