1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
