girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
