i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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