I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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