Moan for me like Helen Keller
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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