You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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