Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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