mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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