You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
