Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
