Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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