Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
