if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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