Where is the hickey?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
