We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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