She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
