great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
