I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
