her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
