Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I think my vagina is haunted
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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