what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize