You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
