If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
