Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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