i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize