I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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