I feel like abortions should bother me more
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
