Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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