but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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