hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
