I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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