My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
