maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
