I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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