dude i'm inner monologue high
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
