I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
