Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Randomize
