is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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