I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
