i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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