Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
