hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
its liver damage thursday
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