"it" just moved
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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