had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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