i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i would punch a child for taco bell
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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