I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
