margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
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