the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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