I got chris browned last night
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
