so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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