We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize