the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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