You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
