It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
