I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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