are you still at the devil's house?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
