wrigley field is MILF paradise
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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