overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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