How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
