so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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