we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize