it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
