He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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